humor only a biologist could love

Nerds Vs. Geeks

Alright, so when I read the Scott Pilgrim graphic novels I thought, hey, Gideon’s symbol looks like an inverted Sierpinski triangle (albeit poorly iterated)! Then I saw the movie and was all “TRIFORCE” (three straight weeks of Twilight Princess helped there).

Anyway, most of the nerds I know (and I know a lot of nerds) don’t play videogames. Those of us who do are totally infringing on geek territory.

Here’s how the division works, in order of most to least likely to get laid:

  • Nerd
      Nerds are folk who compensate for their social deficiencies by being really smart. (Common sense doesn’t come under this heading, though it does happen sometimes.)
  • Geek
      Geeks tend to have one specialized interest they are very, very dedicated to (sometimes to the point of not bathing…), and it’s technology or gaming oriented.
  • Dork
      Dorks are sad. They lack the intelligence or specialized knowledge of nerds and geeks, plus they’re super awkward and don’t realize it’s not socially acceptable to do…well, pretty much everything in their repertoire.

If you read that, here’s a game for you! Find the eleven differences between the left and right panels (excepting the word bubbles). Answers are beneath this; highlight the text to see.

  1. It’s reversed. Feel free to kick yourself in the face if you missed this, silly!
  2. The geek’s blinds are down. The Yellow Face is cruel.
  3. Poster text. You probably can’t read it, but it says ‘awesome video’ instead of ‘lame indie band’ (I thought I’d changed ‘goes’ to ‘game’, but I think I accidentally undid that…damn you Ctrl Z).
  4. The computer. Geeks have better taste in computing equipment: that’s a fullsize monitor; the nerd’s using a laptop.
  5. Joystick. Retro, I know.
  6. The geek has a surge protector. Gotta watch out for those surges! Also where else would you stick your printer, second monitor, speakers, and console?
  7. The geek is smiling. Fact: nerds are afraid of smiling because there are too many possible interpretations.
  8. Nerds don’t believe in taped glasses.
  9. The geek has a PS3 under his bed instead of textbooks. I don’t know about you, but I want to marry this kid.
  10. Nerd-boy has a roommate. Geek scared his away. Using what? You don’t want to know.
  11. The nerd has a thicker book on his bed. The geek’s either got porn or a strategy guide there. Which one does he jack off to, anyway…? You really don’t want to know.

Bonus round! List the min:three superobvious ways you can tell the kid doesn’t have a girlfriend. (Nerd, obviously. Geek: too many ways to count. ;)


2 responses

  1. jrwhitener

    **No answers were highlighted before the making of this post.**

    1. Nerd has a roommate, evidenced by the top bunk having a blanket and pillow.
    2. Geek has an aversion to sunlight, evidenced by the closed window.
    3. Both have an aversion to a relationship with a women, evidenced by books under the nerds bed and an inflatible doll under the geeks. (A relationship means that clothes, heirlooms, old pictures, and holiday decorations are packed under the bed)
    4. Geek has a joystick on his desk.
    5. Nerd as a laptop and Geek has a desktop + widescreen monitor.
    6. Geek has a UPS? by his outlet. Nerd does not need one with his laptop.
    7. The frames are reversed (does that count)?
    8. The nerd is not smiling (does that count)?
    9. Actually, that’s all I got.

    Bonus Round
    1. Sexy Shirt.
    2. Roommate
    3. Only one computer.

    12 April 2012 at 6.02 pm

  2. Good enough for me! Not all of those are thrown in there…perhaps I should add them.

    12 April 2012 at 9.10 pm

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